THE HUMAN COMMUNICATOR

I was standing in front of a room full of strangers, talking about singing to my dying mother.

She was in a morphine-induced coma in the last days of her life. I had pulled a chair up next to her bed and started crooning Great American Songbook love songs — Cole Porter, Irving Berlin, the soundtrack of her courting days with my father, who had died the year before. (The photo that goes with this blog shows me looking at an image of my parents.)

I was about twelve songs in when it happened.

Mom was lying motionless, eyes closed, as I sang Cole Porter’s “Night and Day.” I finished the first verse and was about to continue when she opened her mouth and started trying to sing along.

I was stunned.

I pulled my chair closer. 

Unforgettable Conversation 

“Mom,” I said, tenderly, “you love these old songs, don’t you?”

Still motionless. Eyes still closed.

She opened her mouth and said one word.

“Yes.”

That was the last word I ever had with her.

Emotions Became Irrepressible

I was reliving all of this in front of a roomful of people at a regional speaking contest. And as I got to that moment — that one word — I lost it.

Tears. 

Right there. 

In public. In front of strangers who were there to judge me.

I won the contest.

Revealed: the Key to Human Connection

Here’s what I learned that day — and what I’ve been teaching executives ever since:

The moment I stopped controlling my emotions and let the audience see them, the room shifted.

People leaned in.

They went quiet in that particular way that means something real is happening.

They weren’t watching a presenter anymore. They were with a human being.

That’s the whole game.

The Principle Executives Resist Most

In my forthcoming book on communication in the AI age, I describe a real estate developer trying to win approval for an affordable housing project in her hometown from a skeptical zoning board. She had the data. She had the plans. She had the economic projections. None of it was moving anyone.

What finally changed the room was the moment she stopped presenting and started speaking personally about why the project mattered to her. Her voice caught. She didn’t try to hide it.

The room changed.

The project got approved.

This is the principle many executives resist the hardest — and the one that often creates the strongest connection when they finally embrace it.


To read the full piece including the practical framework for putting this to work in your next high-stakes communication — continue reading on Substack.

(This piece draws on ideas from my forthcoming book on standing out in the age of AI. Literary agents, publishers, and event organizers interested in the project are welcome to reach out directly here.)